"Hate, Hate, Hate"

Don't let anyone fool you; the Army is very hip and reflects much of the popular culture of America. Sometimes this is for the worse, like too many fat people or those who are afraid to fire their rifle (not just at the enemy but in general, their rifle scares them!). Observing Army culture can also give you an object lesson in the future culture, like racial integration or Don't Ask / Don't Tell. The best, however, is when the irreverent nature of youthful influence invades the otherwise cynical older generation of Soldiers.

The best example of this is "Hate." In today's Army, Hate is a joke. If you're a "hater" it is a joking way to call someone a humbug. Example, MAJ Smith didn't participate in the Christmas party because he's a hater. "Hate" can be used in many ways and forms, such as MAJ Smith was hating on the party, or MAJ Smith was hating all over the party. Another, wonderful form is "to hate" or "to be hating."

"To hate" means to dislike something in a comical way. However, "to be hating" is a description of someone's passive existence, often to describe general do-nothingness. The common use is when things are quiet, someone says, "I see you over there, MAJ Smith, all hating by yourself." The standard response can then only be "Hate, hate, hate," which is the narration of the form "to be hating." Hate, hate, hate" can be said by the perpetrator or the accuser. Often both.

Also, I have written "hating" up to know to ensure understanding. In actuality, it is "hatin." So, if you are hating something, it means you are miserable and don't want to laugh. If you are hatin on something, or usually the other way around, something is hatin on you, it means you've given up being mad, accepted things as they are, and have realized how ridiculous it all is anyway.

Another hate form is the beverage "Hater-ade," which, when consumed, causes someone to be filled with enough hate for it spill over and over, causing excess amounts of hatin, usually on other people. Telling someone they've had their share of hater-ade requires an immediate "hate, hate, hate" in a low growley voice.

There are plenty of ways pop culture influences the Army. Many are bad. Not all of them require hatin. Some need to be embraced and incorporated into the lexicon. If you're reading this and don't like it, don't be a hater. There's enough of them here, already.

By the way, Merry Christmas, haters!