"Hate, Hate, Hate"

Don't let anyone fool you; the Army is very hip and reflects much of the popular culture of America. Sometimes this is for the worse, like too many fat people or those who are afraid to fire their rifle (not just at the enemy but in general, their rifle scares them!). Observing Army culture can also give you an object lesson in the future culture, like racial integration or Don't Ask / Don't Tell. The best, however, is when the irreverent nature of youthful influence invades the otherwise cynical older generation of Soldiers.

The best example of this is "Hate." In today's Army, Hate is a joke. If you're a "hater" it is a joking way to call someone a humbug. Example, MAJ Smith didn't participate in the Christmas party because he's a hater. "Hate" can be used in many ways and forms, such as MAJ Smith was hating on the party, or MAJ Smith was hating all over the party. Another, wonderful form is "to hate" or "to be hating."

"To hate" means to dislike something in a comical way. However, "to be hating" is a description of someone's passive existence, often to describe general do-nothingness. The common use is when things are quiet, someone says, "I see you over there, MAJ Smith, all hating by yourself." The standard response can then only be "Hate, hate, hate," which is the narration of the form "to be hating." Hate, hate, hate" can be said by the perpetrator or the accuser. Often both.

Also, I have written "hating" up to know to ensure understanding. In actuality, it is "hatin." So, if you are hating something, it means you are miserable and don't want to laugh. If you are hatin on something, or usually the other way around, something is hatin on you, it means you've given up being mad, accepted things as they are, and have realized how ridiculous it all is anyway.

Another hate form is the beverage "Hater-ade," which, when consumed, causes someone to be filled with enough hate for it spill over and over, causing excess amounts of hatin, usually on other people. Telling someone they've had their share of hater-ade requires an immediate "hate, hate, hate" in a low growley voice.

There are plenty of ways pop culture influences the Army. Many are bad. Not all of them require hatin. Some need to be embraced and incorporated into the lexicon. If you're reading this and don't like it, don't be a hater. There's enough of them here, already.

By the way, Merry Christmas, haters!

Why can't Johnny plan a convoy?

Thank goodness for ping-pong, it makes me happy.

Since I've been in the Army, I've told others about the importance of accountability and the effects it has on the troops. Basically, there are three kinds of Soldiers in a unit. 1) Generally incompetent and can't do anything right. 2) Generally lazy, but can complete a mission if held to task. 3) Generally dedicated, and will always go out of their way to accmplish the mission. If the leadership holds everyone accountable, then the unit runs very well because the incompetent are kicked out or beaten, the lazy are made to do work and the mission is done, and the dedicated will become even more dedicated and work harder and raise the overall excellence of the unit.

When the leadership fails to hold folks accountable, or doesn't apply it to everyone across the board, the incompetent infect other people and decrease productivity, the lazy continue to be lazy and do nothing, and the dedicated are forced to do everything themselves, and become cynical and bitter. Everyone loses, except the incompetent who continue getting paid for doing the wrong thing.

I've know for a while there is no accountability in this unit, the last few days made it abundantly clear. A simple task like "Drive trucks from A to B" becomes a major logistics nightmare, especially when the convoy commander loses the one item he has to move, before it has even left the base. Or doesn't do equipment checks until 30 minutes before moving out. Or forgets to take off the emergency brake and destroys the brakes on a truck, causing the entire movement to be delayed several days for repairs. These are all simple things any Soldier who has two halves of a brain can figure out. When it comes from experienced folks, it becomes inexcusable. However, there is no move to replace or retrain anyone responsible for the fiasco. I have no doubt I fall into the third category of Soldiers, and I am beyond cynical with the command. I knew before we left this unit was a failure when it came to things like this, it's just becoming evident how deep the failure cuts. Thank goodness for ping-pong, it makes me happy.

Today I have another half day off. I tried to sleep, but some Soldiers on the neighboring hutch were tearing apart the entire inside and replacing everything, so the buildings were shaking and very loud hammering and sawing and general carrying on was the norm. Good thing I don't work nights and have to sleep during the days, or they may have faced Angry Captain. Thank goodness for ping-pong, it makes me happy.

I am convinced the next unit I go to will NOT be a logistics unit. This stuff is pretty lame, and the attitude is too civilian for me. I have several options, and I am working even now to shape things so I can walk into a different job, at least for the next few years. As it develops, I'll write more on some of the opportunities, but for now, it's all in the pre-planning phase. The bottom line is, I need an Army job that makes me happy, or that I am happy in. Otherwise, what's the point? Planning logistics movements for a Sustainment Brigade certainly doesn't make me happy, or even un-bored. Thank goodness for ping-pong.

Morale Mania

I was talking with another Officer who I work with about running, and the frequency of my workouts. She asked, "Do you do anything other than running?" She meant to be funny, and it was amusing. Looking back, I realize I do a lot more than just workout, sleep and go to work. I'm the morale Officer for a program I called "Morale Mania" which I use to orgnize game nights, tournaments, etc. I am learning the Lean Six Sigma process, as well as getting smart of Excel and basic computer syntax, and various other things. I also play scrabble, play Xbox, watch movies, help prepare food for special events, tutor Soldiers on math and other topics, etc. It just doesn't all happen at once.

One new thing at work is called an "Effects Officer." This is basically someone who plans and coordinates for combat enablers from Apaches to unmanned drones to directly support our folks on the roads. This is challenging because I have to get these assets from other units, and they don't like to give them up to logistics movements. Nevertheless, I have been getting a foot in the door, and if you poke someone long enough, they'll eventually at least turn to see who is poking them.

I found out one of my former Soldiers was wounded pretty seriously down South recently. He is still in the ICU in Germany, but is stable and is off basic life support. He will live to tell about it, but will not be able to stay in the Army, and will need significant help adjusting to his new life. It bothers me, because he was one of the Soldiers I trained for a year before I arranged for him to deploy with this unit. The purpose was he needed deployed Team Leader time before he was promoted to SFC, otherwise he wouldn't be competitive for further advancement. That worked out poorly for everyone.

Today is Sunday, so I have the morning off. I slept in and did not get up until 1200. It was nice. I go in to work at 1400 today, so I will finish this soon. I have sent some Christmas presents and letters out, so hopefully they arrive by Christmas. Outbound mail here is very slow.

Lean Six Sigma

While I haven't had much success at taking classes thru the education center on Bagram, I am enrolled and attending training for a program called Lean Six Sigma, a business efficiency methodlogy. It reminds me a great deal of the Gilbreth effort in the early 20th century and their pioneering work in industrial engineering and ergononmics. I have always has been geared towards efficiency and improvement, so this class is coming very naturally to me. There is about 90% common sense, 10% statistics, at least for me.

When I am home, my wife and children often find themselves helping or watching my latest furniture project, shifting couches or chairs or tables to make better use of the space, or adjust to how we use things for the current season. The most unusual event was shifting the entire master bedroom 90 degrees after the children went to bed, around 10PM. It wasn't difficult, but trying to be quiet enough so Joshua wouldn't wake up was a challenge! I haven't had much opportunity to do any of that here.

My buddy who was working days with me has switched over to nights, so meals and breaks are taken solo now. I have found a fellow Officer, a 2LT from another section, to run with at night after shift, but that is not the same. There are barriers because of rank and gender - I don't socialize with female Soldiers or Officers outside work since it can create a negative perception. Everyone knows I have a family back home, but I don't want anyone to question me, even falsely.

I am refreshing my computer programming skills as I design a program to track some aspects of our unit as it moves across the battlespace. There are a lot of individual pieces, and it is taking quite a bit of time and keyboard mashing. I had some help this afternoon from a civilian who is knowledgeable and who joined forces with me for about 2 hours today to work out some bugs. Overall, it will be a good product, easy to use for the Soldiers while automatically providing some useful and cool looking graphics for the higher-ups, it just requires a lot of initial investment.

I logged onto my bank website yesterday and looked over an IRA I forgot I had. This month it will double my original investment, and if the rate stays generally similar, it is on path to double every 6-7 years, and will double 5 more times over the next 35 years, which puts me on a good road to cashing it in when I "retire" and buy my dream sports car, if it even exists anymore in 28 years. $64,000 from an initial $2,000 works for me!

Tonight we ended shift on time, a rarity, so I have extra time. I am playing in a pool tournament, although I will lose in the first round because I am bad at pool. We also have a small but dedicated group for weekly game night, every Saturday evening from 2130-2300. We played Powergrid last week, and will likely play it again this week, now that everyone knows how to play. I look forward to it.

I also enjoy 2 half days off a week now; Tuesdays and Sundays. It is nice to sleep in an not have to go in until after lunch. I look foward to Monday and Saturday, because I can go to bed and not set my alarm those nights.

Humility

I recently received news of a good and Godly man I know who was struck by a car and shortly after died. He taught piano and was instrumental in a Christian program called Csehy. It is a great loss to us, and I am deeply saddened at this news. When I think of him, I think of a story of a great singer which I'll share here.

There was a certain small group of monks who lived in their monastery and worked their garden, tended their land, and enjoyed singing hymns and Psalms all day. They were known throughout the land for their constant singing, while they cooked, cleaned, went into town, and in everything they did. One day a great musician came to live with them, one renowned for his amazing talent. He immediately set to teach them the intricacies of music theory, choral singing, and the like.

However, he noticed no one was singing at the daily chores, while preparing meals, or even walking outside. After several weeks of this he talked with the Abbot and said, "Father, I've heard of the constant song coming from these men, and yet these last weeks they have been all but silent. What is wrong?"

The abbot replied, "Son, they have been singing these last weeks, but you have not heard. They know you are advanced well beyond the other brothers in music and ability, they know you stress the importance of good music and performing well, so they didn't want to offend you. But what you forget is sometimes the best music you make isn't in the notes you sing to others, but in the songs in your heart you sing only to God."

Ping Pong

When you're deployed, you are either busy or not. That sounds a lot like regular life, too, but it means something different. Often I get back from work in time to change, talk for a few minutes with the guys in my hutch, and then go to sleep. Some nights, like tonight, I get stuck doing laundry until late. Others, I get back early and can watch part of a movie, go to the gym, or play scrabble online, if the computers are working. Another favorite hobby is Ping Pong.

There is a ping pong table in our morale building which gets heavy use. Ping pong really is an Army tradition, even with other "newcomers" sneaking in with Pool and Dominoes. Those are really cultural things, though, while Ping Pong attracts Soldiers of every color and creed. I placed 3rd in the tournament we held last week, although I could have won it if my long game was better.

I found out yesterday the running event the brigade is planning is a 50 mile individual / 100 mile team event. I will be running a 50 miler in April, as part of my teams' event. I'm also competing in the Shadow Boston Marathon held here at Bagram. The plus side is we don't have to qualify. The folks in Boston complain about that, but they're not running it at 5,000 feet, so if anyone here places in the top 5%, they would have kicked some serious butt in Boston.

My knee is doing well, as is my shoulder. I am gaining more and more strength in both, and I am able to do 30 pullups (cumulative) at the gym, so I am getting much stronger. I still am not up to my pre-surgery 15 at once, and can only do about 7 straight currently, but will get back to 15-20 eventually.

That's all from Bagram.

Greed and Gifts

I can't stand made up words, especially nounds that are "verbed." The most common one this time of year is "gifting" which isn't a word. It doesn't exist. Just because some famous people or ads quoted it, doesn't make it right. So stop saying GIFTING before I gift you a dictionary to the face.

So another person died at a Black Friday event. This time it was a senior citizen (barely old enough to qualify) who had heart trouble and passed out at a Target. Nobody stopped to help, some even stepped over him as he lay on the floor. Finally an off duty ER nurse and EMT found him and attempted CPR, but he died anyway. I think we should boycott Target for allowing such a thing to happen. Wrongful death suits aren't enough - the company which allows for such blind greed to overcome the human element doesn't deserve to operate. I am reminded of the old proverb, if money is all you care about, money is all you've ever get.

More and more I do not understand the selfishness and greediness of our culture. If we are struggling to pay mortgages we can't afford and drive cars we can't pay for, why do we rush out to buy gifts and packages we don't likely need? Wouldn't a better gift to your family be a debt free rest of their lives filled with love and kindness? Too bad love and kindness never earned money. It is a fallen world where real virtues are replaced by sinful vices. Something makes me think Jesus mentioned this kind of blasphemy when he discussed the "Unforgiveable Sin," although I'm sure one of my pastor/chaplain readers can speak better about that than I.

I long sometimes for a life separated from the selfish, greedy, self-destructive behaviors of our culture. It is at times cause for me to doubt my patriotism for this country, if our country's ideals no longer support the ideals they originally stood for. Why continue to be part of a system that is so corrupt and rotted it confuses the positive trait of good stewardship with blind, furious grabbing at a store for plastic clam-wrapped figurines and gizmos?

I am more and more sickened by our national behavior. Maybe seeing it from farther away gives me a different perspective, but it makes me feel like Jonah, not wanting to minister or witness to such a disgraced people, rather wanting to leave them to their ultimate doom. But God makes it clear, His concern is for all people, even those we do not see s "saveable."

I'm thankful God sent Jonah to me, so I wouldn't be lost in Nineveh. Now I have to try to bring others out with me.

What's a Hash, anyway?

Thanksgiving came and went here, I can say confidently as it is almost midnight. I was given the morning off, so I stayed in bed until around 0930. I don't usually sleep past 0530, but I did enjoy not having to get up, generally being lazy. I went in to work just after lunch and had a lunch/dinner combo with my work buddy around 1500.

Otherwise, it was a quiet day, with not much going on. It was nice to have a light day, although there was plenty of things for me to do to keep me busy in the afternoon. Most of my energy is focused on some individual travel plans for some folks going on special missions. I don't usually plan and manage this kind of thing, but it fell to me. Thanks to my in depth knowledge of the Army travel system, I am really the best suited to work this issue this time.

Every Thursday night the Brigade Commander sponsors a running club. It is a nice opportunity to go run when I otherwise wouldn't. Lately we've been doing what's called "Hashing" which involves a small group (2-3) called Hares running 10 minutes ahead of the rest of the group, called Hounds. The Hares place certain marks on the ground to lead the Hounds on the trail, and they all end up at an unknown location. If the Hounds catch the Hares, there's unpleasantness to be had, so the Hares are motivated to stay ahead of the pack. Both tonight and last week I was one of the Hares.

I enjoy the runs, but am upset that so few people participate. We only go 2 miles or so, and it really is a bit of fun. So many folks here act and think like they are civilians, it is frustrating. When I go to knock on someone's door at 1730 and there is no one there because they all went to dinner, all at once, while I have to schedule my meals and breaks to ensure there is coverage on the battle desk, it rubs me the wrong way. I am one of very few people in the brigade to ever actually leave any FOB for any reason, and one of even a fewer number to leave on combat patrols. Add in the experience of engaging enemy fighters, receiving and returning fire, and I think I can count on one hand. It is hard to be in a unit where so many don't understand, or even attempt to understand, what it actually means to fight a war. For most, they think physically being in Afghanistan makes them "War Veterans" when I know better. Proximity to war doesn't make you a warrior and wearing a uniform doesn't make you a Soldier.

Everyday I am convinced a little more I do not want to go to another logistics type unit after this. I don't think I could stand being around another unit of pseudo-civilians again and leave with my sanity or self-respect intact. I hate being the "loggy" or the guy who is so far removed he doesn't even realize there's fighting going on. It gives me perspective for sure, but it's not a situation I want to repeat.

I was talking with one of the NCOs here about it, and how I am so much more at ease in a front-leaning unit, where there is more effect on the battle. If I can influence the fight directly, I go to bed at night knowing I stopped the enemy or did something that is part of something real, something good. Tpying up presentations and slides isn't just boring staff work, and after a while, it gets to be that you're more focused on the slides looking good than what the slides represent. I hate that most - you lose sight of reality as the troops are experiencing it.

I was able to call home today, for free, thanks to a big business sponsoring us for Thanksgiving. I guess the occupy folks want the big business (who enabled me to call home) to stop supporting the troops and go out of business. I really don't get the occupy protesters, because the whole thing is so short sighted and foolish, from an economics standpoint. Putting big business out of business wrecks the economy, or maybe we didn't learn anything when the whole thing started with the crash of several large firms in the first place. Certainly all the people who lost their jobs because the big businesses fell apart might still remember that.

Too much complaining. I am thankful the DFAC serves tuna at every meal. I am getting my fill of it, for sure.

IDF

Bagram is a pretty large base. You'd think that would make it a pretty large target. I'm sure there are insurgent pipe dreams to spectacularly attack Bagram, but no. Attacking large bases is such a huge risk for them, unless they mass forces, they likely won't accomplish much. They're fighting a war of attrition, and them losing 15 fighters and only wounding 2 Soldiers doesn't meet that end. They usually stick to the smaller bases and such.

That doesn't mean we're not occasionally hit with IDF. IDF is the military acronym for Indirect Fire. It encompasses rockets, mortars, and the like. Technically, it is anything that lands that isn't aimed directly at the base, like lobbing a water balloon over the fence. You can do it with accuracy if you are good, but it's different than chucking the thing at your buddy's face.

Since my time in Iraq, I've learned to identify the various sounds before, during, and after an IDF attack. The most common one, of course, is the boom. I can differentiate a rocket explosion from a mortar explosion and tell you the millimeter (mm) size from listening to the sound of the boom. I also know the whistle of mortars screaming in, the whoosh of a rocket flying by, and the subtle boom of a mortar launch or a rocket motor igniting. Usually I can tell the kind of fire as well, whether it's target practice, aiming one at a time to get the shot group right, or what is called "Fire for Effect" which translates into, your aim is good, so fire everything you have until you run out.

Bagram has only had one IDF attack while I've been here. That hasn't stopped me from hearing the whistle of a mortar or the screech of a rocket everywhere. It's amazing how you get conditioned for those specific sounds. The biggest culprit is jet engines - they whistle for 2 seconds before they start up, and it is exactly like the whistle of an incoming round. I have more than once jumped out of bed to take cover, only to realize it's just a plane. My peers don't do this, partly because they were never shelled, and the ones that did experience it, were never to the extent we were. It was routine to get hit 5-6 times a day, every day in Iraq. Sometimes this last for weeks at a time. I lost count of the near misses I had, at times making me glad I'm not a cat, because my 9 lives are long since gone. Stories are available upon request.

Anyway, I'll likely continue diving under my bed for planes and reacting to other sounds here for quite a while. It took me 2 years to just get used to fireworks after my last deployment (to this day I am uncomfortable with them, don't like them anymore, and prefer to not be around when they go off), so I doubt it is something I will stop doing in the near future. It keeps me safer, I guess.

On The Road Again

Today I traveled to a far flung little outpost about 150 miles from Bagram. I went to deliver some training materials, do a meet and greet of the leadership there, as well as identify their needs against what I can provide for them. It was a generally productive trip, although it took all day (0200-1845).

This trip was special in that it was the first mission off-base I've been on this deployment. My job does not provide for me to get off base that much, so much planning is required on my part to do so, and not just for "good times" but for legitimate needs.

This was also different because we traveled by ground convoy one of the more dangerous routes in our sector. It is dangerous not only due to the IED and RPG (Rocket Propelled Grenade, or a shoulder fired missile) threat, but also because it goes thru an insane series of twists and turns, called switchbacks, and has a very steep and sheer drop of the side of the road, at some points over 1500 feet straight down. The roads are narrow, and 100% focus is needed in order to prevent a catastrophe.

It is a very different perspective to go on a mission with time to think about it. I was rather uneasy about it beforehand, which is very unusual for me. However, I think that's based on the difference between rolling as a responder and doing a planned movement. When on call, there's already a crisis, I'm hyped up because I've only had 15 minutes before we're out the door, and I'm full aware I'm going to a serious and potentially deadly scenario, which could end badly everytime. With this, the focus is altered, and I find myself not liking being on the other end, although familiarity with the routes, and where the threats are helps ease my mind.

It is unlikely I will be heading off the base with any frequency, but I do plan to travel about once a month, or once every 6 weeks. I do have need to visit outlying locations, and air travel is not always practical. Also, if I stay behind a desk, I grow stale, and when I'm managing the tactical operations, it is important I not only understand the mission first hand, but I understand the Soldiers executing the mission as well.

Our 5-6 hour drive each way was uneventful, although we did see some interesting sights. One the way back to Bagram, our truck's AC and fan died right at the start, so we sweated and drank lots of water the entire way back. Since it was a high threat area, we stayed buttoned up the whole way. When we dismounted after arriving at Bagram, a thick cloud of steam rolled out the back of the truck when it met the significantly cooler nighttime air. It made me laugh.

I'm feeling a little tired after today, and ran for a short distance this evening. I had to move a bit after sitting stagnant in a truck for 11 hours today, but it was a very short distance. I'll resume my normal regimen tomorrow. For now, it is late and time for bed. Until next time...

What makes a Hero?

I've often had a problem with the overuse of the word "Hero" in our national lexicon. It seems more now it is a buzzword thrown around by politicians who want to be supportive of the military (either genuinely or from self-serving motives). It also seems to be a favorite word for those who don't know any other way to support military and civil servants like police and firefighters. However, I feel it is abused, to the detriment of those who deserve the title.

Popular to contrary belief, I hold not every dead Soldier is a hero. Simply not living isn't heroic, especially since most combat deaths are due to no particular action of the deceased. The problem is, when EVERYONE is a hero, NO ONE is; the word becomes devalued. I also understand hero is subjective, but there has to be a line somewhere, where common sense dictates and the title of Hero remains sacred.

So I pose this quesiton: what makes a Hero? You'll notice I didn't say "What is a hero" or "What do you think are the qualities of a hero" because Heroes are made. To become a hero is not a passive event, but an act or series of acts that raise an individual above his or her peers. I also didn't say, "What does a hero do" because the subjectivity of the word would make it impossible to discern.

I will reduce validity by injecting my own opinion up front. A hero is a person who is confronted by a situation bigger than them, who rises to the challenge and overcomes, for the betterment of those around him, at the potential and likely risk to himself. A hero doesn't fumble blindly into hero-dom. A hero isn't a skilled and trained man who only executes to standard. A hero isn't a firefighter who puts out a fire or a Special Forces Soldier who single handedly takes a machine gun nest and kills 5 enemy fighters or a police officer who arrests a bank robber. A hero is a 9 year old who dials 911 and then re-enters the house to pull her parent from a burning building, an army mechanic who is wounded by shrapnel and dies on a machine gun defending his comrades' evacuation, or a teacher who stops an at gunpoint mugging of an elderly man. Simply doing your job isn't merit for "hero," athough doing your job to such a degree as to meet the above criteria is.

Heros, therefore, are made by the events around them and the choices they make.

Some may not like my definition. Many will feel cheated, if they are unable to call every man and woman in a uniform a hero. But let's expand our terminology and keep the word hero special. Instead, let's take the time to differentiate: let us instead say we have a deep respect for those in uniform, and reserve awarding the title HERO to those among that already special group for those who exemplify the most selfless and courageous of them, lest we lose the meaning of hero and the concept of Heroism falls further into the sands of time.

Tin Roof and Days Off

It rained last night, but not until around 1030PM. This was fortunate because we have a running club that runs from 930 to 1030, so I was back in my hutch before it started to rain. We live in a little building with a tin roof and wood walls, so the rain rapped nicely on the tin roof, making it very pleasant. I can understand what some Vietnam vets say when they reference the beauty of the country, despite the war around them.

Yesterday morning was very hazy, so much so we couldn't see the mountains until afternoon. Even then, I wondered if I was seeing the clouds or the tops of the mountains. They are majestic, with their snow peaks. I sometimes am intimidated by high mountains, but for some reason, I can enjoy the peaks surrounding us without any other notice.

I received my MENSA card in a pacakge from home yesterday, so I am now a card-carrying MENSAN. I found one other member here on the staff. He works in the Commander's office, and he is indeed pretty smart.

Today is Friday, and most folks have the morning off. Not my section. Because you can't just pause the war, something we joke about frequently, our stations have to be manned all the time. We take different mornings off, so everyone gets a day. I mentioned this when first in Manas, and several others didn't quite believe me. "I, personally, need one day a week I can look foward to that I can sleep in or do anything I want, at the very least for half the day." Now that I have put it into practice, the others are seeing the benefit of it. I guess when God made the Sabbath, He kinda knew what He was doing!

Sunday, befittingly, is my half day off, however, I gave it to one of the Soldiers this week. Every week, we have a challenge for who can read the large map in our CP and find certain locations fastest, and various other challenges. Normally, the winner gets an extra day off on Thursday, but that wasn't possible this week, so I gave up my day so they could continue the weekly challenge and still get the day off. Initially, one of the Soldiers was being generous and giving up her day even if she won. Not any more; she's realizing the benefit of having a half day.

Ramp Ceremony and Multiple KIA

Last weekend there was a car bombing (VBIED - vehicle borne IED) in Kabul against one of our convoys. If you read the news, it was the one reported on with 13-14 KIA. It was huge here, although I know even big events like that don't garner much attention in the states. I understand the mindset though, since this is combat. If 14 people had been killed in a VBIED in Atlanta or Cleveland or DC, it would be huge, it wouldn't make sense. The reality is, the American media understands one thing correctly; in war, people die. Just because someone dies in war, doesn't make it a breaking news events.

Since I manage the tactical operations of our unit, coordinating the attack assets and other special items like satellites and aviation and such fell to me, as well as ensuring the unit on the ground was able to fight, and didn't have to worry about annoying staff officers calling asking for updates. I reigned in our own staff several times, and it was a long day, squelching the rumr intelligence (RUMINT) and false reporting. I set myself up as the sole authority on accurate information, and was able to keep the troops on scene focused on the fight.

The next evening, the remains were fully processed here on Bagram and ready to fly back home. This whole process is called a Dignified Transfer, when the transfer cases (coffins) are driven from the Mortuary Affairs Collection Point (MACP) to the flightline and onto the bird (airplane). This is also called a Ramp Ceremony. After attending dozens of events, ceremonies, memorials, and such, some for strangers, others for those I knew well, some whose deaths I was closer to than I ever imagined I would be while deployed last time, I vowed to myself I wouldn't go to another one. I told my boss here I've buried enough friends, I don't need to stand in a formation to make myself feel closer to combat, especially when I'm one of only a few in the brigade to actually have faced it. He was receptive. However, I found myself not only in formation for the ceremony, but I also was involved in the transfer itself for 9 of the 13 we loaded onto the plane. I am pretty stoic in general, emotionally, so I guess it makes sense for someone like me to be involved in that situation, no matter how I feel about it overall.

Everyone has different ways of dealing with that. Some guys talk about the incident in detail, what they experience on the day it happens, what they ate, how many steps they took walking into the command post (TOC) on first recall. Others avoid it as much as possible and make forced smalltalk. One I know made nervous, unrelated jokes, while trying not to look at the bird or transfer cases, but catching anxious glances every so often. As for myself, it is something just as natural as anything else. After leading so many post blast investigations, instinct kicked in and I analyzed the burned out vehicle, identified what happened to the folks inside, and so on. We all have our coping mechanisms.

My troops are doing well. I have staff of 3, not including another Officer who I manage in a peer to peer relationship. We perform our rather mundane job pretty easily, and I've started looking into getting some schools and classes done while here. I also work out twice a day. It is pretty slow when we're not managing an event that ends the world for some families back home. Bagram is large and generally pretty safe, and I run the perimeter once a week. Otherwise, not much to report. I think the next blog will be about the weather.

Startin Work

Although we haven't fully taken the reins formally, we're pretty much running the show now. I have been in the driver's seat for about 5 days now, and haven't had too much trouble. It doesn't seem like a difficult job, and once we get fully settled in, I expect things to be rather dull.

Last week I receive word my our third child being born. It was pretty surreal, since it was lunchtime here when he was born. Also, it came in the form of a red cross message, and my staff is the one that receives and processes them. My desk SGT surprised me because I was on my way out for lunch and she said an RCM was coming in, and let me read it before telling me what it was. The joke was on her, though, since I made her write it all down anyway.

We all watched the last few inninngs of the world series game 6 live this morning early before shift started. My senior SGT on staff is from Texas and is a Rangers fan. I like the Cardinals as a whole, so I'm rooting for the Cardinals. It was a great game, even if I was getting scowls everytime I cheered for St Louis.

I ran 4 miles last night and 3 miles tonight. The alititude really bothers me here, since we are at 4900 feet. Part of it is I haven't run seriously in quite some time and am really far from where I was or could/should be. Tomorrow is my last running day of the week, since I don't work out on Sundays.

Things are well overall. I got skype working. Katie can give you my handle name, although since I pay for the internet, I don't go on all the time, only every few days around 930PM Fort Drum time. It's not too expensive, but I am trying to save some money right now.

That's all for now. I'll attempt to write again after the folks we're replacing all fly out. I can't say when until after they leave, so check back periodically for an another update.

Final destination

_____I am now at Bagram Airfield (BAF). I moved into my little corner room and tomorrow we go to the rifle range to confirm our aim sights are valid. The flight was a long 2 hours from Manas, and we were glad to get off the plane. We are 8.5 hours ahead of EST, and I plan to make my first phone calls tomorrow around lunchtime NY time.
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_____The base is very big, with so many people. Most everything I need is an easy walk, however. There is a quiet gym near my room, as well as a nice dining facility (d-fac) and the brigade HQ. There is also a rather nice morale building, called MWR, a few buildings over, which has internet, a 12 seat movie room, ping-pong, etc. The brigade we're replacing also built a grandiose firepit within the brigade compound with darts, and a large gazebo for breaks.
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_____The rooms we stay in are called many things: B-hut, home, hutch (pronounced hooch), room, house, and so on. I'll use those terms interchangeably, so be informed of the slang.
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_____Nothing much else to report except I start transitioning in a few days. I'll be sure to post after that goes for a while.

Safely in Manas

_____We are safely in Manas Airbase. Currently doing prep and the like. There is a nice morale tent near our transient tents, so I can stop by to check email during the day. We are currently 10 hours ahead of Eastern Time.
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_____We arrived this morning around 0330 local time and had about 3 hours to rest after initial check in. I think tonight will be a nice night to sleep. I only slept 3 hours or so on the flight, since it was uncomfortable seating the whole way. Total travel time so far has been 16 hours.
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_____That's it for now. Hope you all are doing well.

Final Post

_____This is my last post before we fly. Our current projections have us leaving very early Saturday morning, just after midnight. We're headed to Rammstein Air Base in Germany for a refueling layover before moving on to Manas Air Base in Bishkek, Kyrgzstan. From then, it's military shuttle flights across the border and into Afghanistan.

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_____These dashes are my attempt to differentiate between paragraphs. Right now, this blog software makes everything one paragraph. It is very annoying for me, so I figure it must be annoying for everyone.

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_____I successfully re-started out hot water heater after it was snuffed out yesterday during a utility repair visit for our furnace. We were getting annual maintenance done, and he had to cut the gas, which of course killed the pilot light in our hot water heater. After consulting an internet video with pictures, I was able to light the pilot and keep my eyebrows intact. Score one for me and my face.

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_____I mailed my three boxes this morning, including my violin. They are all insured, so if something bad happens, it's covered. Aside from my violin, I sent my Xbox, a bunch of clothes, a hymnal, a psalter, and several other items. I'm carrying my Bible with me, and have my laptop in hand, in addition to my clothes, so all my neccessities are taken care of.

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_____That's all. My next post will likely be a real update from BAF.

More personal than work

Yesterday I attended my grandmother's funeral in Syracuse. It was nice to see family from all over the Eastern and Central states, however sorrowful the setting. It was a long day, as I had been up around 2AM to attend a meeting with folks overseas, and we only got home around 10PM from Syracuse. I did something I rarely do, that is switch driving with Katie for about 30 minutes.

For me, driving is one of those things that falls under the "protecting my family" clause written iinto the man contract I signed. It takes a lot for me to not drive, but I was getting tired, and I decided it was protecting my family to give me the opportunity to close my eyes for a short break.

The first group of people have departed already, with another group leaving soon. I am on a later group, and still have a short time home. A positive for being close to leaving is we are only working half days now. It is nice to leave at noon, because I can be home in time to put the children down for quiet time.

Disengaging from "The World"

Most of my efforts this last week has been to step away from the daily, stateside (called "garrison" or "CONUS") jobs and focus on building relationships with folks overseas. Everything related to things garrison is known as "The World," while everything overseas is "downrange."

I was having migraines, but not for a week now. I will re-start my gym regimen this week, as my physical therapy (knee) winds down. There are plenty of gyms on BAF, so I hope to continue my trend when we deploy.

I took several violins to a Luthier in Syracuse, and will return in a week or two to pick them up. One of my violins I will ship downrange, and I needed an appraisal so I could properly fill out the insurance form. It's not my best one, but not my worst either.

The Bear Went Over the Mountain

Well, not OVER the mountain, but at least up it. I climbed Whiteface Mountain in Wilmington, NY as part of a brigade challenge. The bear, which belongs to Joshua, rode all the way up attached to my backpack.

The trek to the summit was 6 miles in length and took us up over 3600 feet from the base camp, and included pitches from 2.5 to 15 percent. At times, it was almost hand over hand, not just one foot after another.

Views were magnificent. I didn't experience much pain in my knee or back, attributed to my mobile pharmacy in my bag. I have a small blister, but not much else. However, after leaving at 3 AM, I was in bed by 10 PM.

I plan to take the bear, named Bear West, along with me as a travel buddy, so I can take pictures with him and document everywhere I go, whether it is deployment or just regular travels. I'll be sure to post a picture in this forum when appropriate.

Bullies and Band Aids

Today, and really all this week, there has been an arduous battle with the intel section of the Brigade, over secure areas and passcodes. Of course, they've never shown interest in it, and have preferred to let us in Operations run the show, and take the fall when something needs fixed. However, that all changed this week when they got in trouble for general lackadaisacal-ness, and have been bullying other sections all week. I have avoided the fray mostly, but today was a climax when I argued with several of them at once. The topic was insignificant, but they basically refused to do their assigned job in relation to allowing access. The entire section only seems to enforce what will get them positive credit in the boss's eyes, but when there is a chance to actually be helpful, they balk. One had the gall to refuse to comply with regulation because it was too much work. All I have to say is thank goodness we're not a tactical unit.

Further, there are numerous points of contention within our own shop. People not coming to formation, a general unwillingness to work, even the inability to follow-up or think critically, requirements when you work in Operations. We're implementing short term fixes, like moving desks, but it seems like we're just putting a band-aid on bruise and waiting to deploy. I don't mind not working and just waiting, but at least I am productive when it's called for, and I still do my job throughout the day. Again, thank goodness we're not a tactical unit.

Yesterday I went to SRC or Soldier Readiness Center. This is a giant check the box process all deploying Soldiers go thru, with only minimal usefulness. Aside from the shots I received for Anthrax, Tyhpoid, TDAP, and Influenza / H1N1, the day was a waste. When we went to behavioral health, they had us fill out a form the screener didn't even look at. It was a long form with lots of good, relevant, and importan questions. However, the process is designed to speed you thru and not really synch you up with real care. That might keep you from deployment, so they rarely will so much as look at a packet, let alone discuss why you said you "feel angry several times a day" or "several times a week have repeated thoughts and memories of traumatic events you cannot get out of your head." Important questions for Soldies deploying, but nonetheless completely ignored. This took up most of the day. Add to that I was in at work at 2AM for a meeting with folks overseas, a meeting which never happened, and I was very happy to go home.

There is still some doubt as to when my plane is leaving. The most reliable projections have it leaving before Katie is due, but it's the Army, and I don't believe it until we are 35,000 feet off the ground. Having suffered thru plane mechanical problems both directions last deployment, I am no counting on anything. I am also prepared to be told I am leaving on an earlier plane. That would be the Army for you, combined with a healthy dose of general confusion on the part of our movement planners. Again, thank goodness we are not a tactical unit.

By the way, a "tactical unit" is one that actually fights bad guys. Those who drive tanks, or kick in doors, who manage tribal councils and fly helicopters. No one in our unit does any of that. We don't leave the FOB, since we're a Brigade HQ only. So we are not a tactical unit. And thank goodness for that. We can do upper level, theater wide logistics planning and coordinating well, but I wouldn't know which way to run if I was out on patrol with some folks and we came under fire. It may in fact be safer running towards the enemy fire. And yes, I'm ending with gallows humor.

Change Number 537

With yet another meeting about who is going on which plane and when, the set in stone decision of me leaving on the X day of Y month is up for grabs. Does this mean I'll be home for the baby to arrive? I'm not holding my breath. The brass wanted me there ahead of the main group so I could get set up. Of course, given the opportunity, I'd rather be here for the delivery and board a plane 48 hours later then miss the whole thing. We shall see as more information comes in. As we say in the Army, "Truth has a date / time stamp."

Initial Report

I am about a month from deployment. I return from leave tomorrow, September 6th and will work on various odds and ends until the plane leaves. I have several weeks left of physical therapy and still plan to climb Whiteface Mountain on September 16th. Tune back in for further updates in the future.